Thursday, October 2, 2008

welcome to my mind

I think a good way to start out this blog will be to try to explain the way my mind works. I have a very hard time thinking about practical situations without getting lost in space. My mind constantly yearns for a broader picture, for context in which to place the situation before I can consider it. This can get frustrating at times, when I have to devote hours to a process of making a seemingly simple decision. It can also make communication difficult, because it’s hard for me to freely converse on a subject I haven’t thought much about already. As soon as a subject comes into conversation, instead of quickly determing how to articulate how I feel about the subject, my mind immediately wanders away, attempting to place the topic in context and figure out how I feel about it. But while my mind often struggles to interact with the physical, practical world, I’ve learned to appreciate the way my mind works. It stops me from getting tunnel visioned and keeps me thinking for myself.

Because my mind operates this way, I've always avoided blogging because I didn't think I'd be able to write about, or draw conclusions about specific situations without finding myself sailing away into broader questions. And I was probably right....but I decided to try anyway. We'll see how that goes. The way this blog is written will probably mirror the way my mind thinks. While most blogs cover current events or daily happenings, this will probably be much broader and more confusing.

The title of this blog comes from a song by Kimya Dawson: “I Like Giants.” Here is the quote in context:
"When I go for a drive I like to pull off to the side
Of the road and run and jump into the ocean in my clothes
And I'm smaller than a poppyseed inside a great big bowl
And the ocean is a giant that can swallow me whole
So I swim for all salvation and I swim to save my soul
But my soul is just a whisper trapped inside a tornado
So I flip to my back and I float and I sing
I am grounded, I am humbled, I am one with everything

I like this quote because it reminds me that no matter how hard we try to protect ourselves from nature, it is pervasive and will always win. No matter how hard we cling to religions that promise immortality, fight for stardom to be remembered forever in history, or struggle to attain any product that will prolong our lives, nature will always have the final say and bring us back down to earth at the end of our attempted escape.

This is something I hope to keep in mind as I struggle to figure out what I want to do with my life. I hope this blog will serve as a regular reminder that the traditional success symbols in our culture are only symbols. And while I may never be able to replace the need for attaining some sort of success symbol for myself, it does not need to be a symbol our culture has determined for me.

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